R18: More Than She Bargained For and Others

MORE THAN SHE BARGAINED FOR

A MAN is sitting on his own in a restaurant when he sees a beautiful woman at another table. He sends her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu, and she writes him a note: “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pants.”

He writes back to her, “Give me back the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I’m not cutting off three inches for anyone.”

-o0o-

Good for the cucumbers

A woman is having a hard…

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R18: Wrong Hit and Others

Wrong Hit

A WIFE comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. 

Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, quietly reading a magazine. 

He says, "Hi, darling! Your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?”

-o0o-

Better than what…

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R18: Wrong Zipper and Others

Wrong Zipper

IN a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight mini skirt. 

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. 

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.…

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R18: Wrong Motor and Others

Wrong Motor Used

It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. 

The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow. “This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?” 

He answered, “You’ve got to keep that old motor running.” 

The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said, “You really are amazing. How do you do it?” 

Once again, he said, “You’ve got to keep the old motor running.” 

The same thing happened the…

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R18: Old Woman's Query and Others

Old woman’s query

THERE was a nice old lady who was considering a week's sunny vacation at a particular campground. However, she wanted to make sure of the accommodations first. Uppermost in her mind were the toilet facilities, but being conservative, she couldn't bring herself to write "toilet" in a letter.

After considerable deliberation, she settled on "bathroom commode" – and even that sounded too forward to her. So she rewrote the letter to the campground, and referred to the "bathroom commode" as "B.C." 

"Does the campground have its own B.C.?" she wrote.

The campground owner…

Read more: R18: Old Woman's Query and Others

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