Barbeque

Mark and his wife were working in their garden one day when Mark looks over at his wife and says: "Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big! I bet your butt is bigger than the barbeque."

With that, he proceeds to get a measuring tape and measure the grill. Then he goes over to where his wife was working and measures his wife's booty.

"Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbeque!" he exclaims.

The wife chooses to ignore her husband.

Later that night in bed, Mark is feeling a…

Read more: R18: Barbecue and Other Series

Two words

A man sick of the outside world decides to join a monastery in a remote part of Tibet. One of the stipulations upon entry to this most holy order, he learned, was that he was permitted to say only two words every five years.

The first five years he eats rice, sleeps on a wooden bed and has only one blanket with holes in it. He tends to the fields and looks after livestock every day.

five years, the head monk comes to him, and says he can use his two words.

“More blankets,” he replied.

Now the…

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You’re Always There...

There’s this woman’s husband who has been slipping in and out of a coma for several months. Yet, the woman stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, when he regained consciousness, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed…

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I’m coming!

Little Billy came home from school to see the family’s pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in, and the rooster was flat on its back with its legs in the air.

When his dad came home, Billy asked, "Dad, our rooster’s dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"

His father, thinking quickly, said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."

"Gee Dad, that's great," said little Billy.

A few days…

Read more: R18: I'm Coming! And Other Series