R18: Pickle Slicer and Others

Pickle Slicer

A MAN comes home from his job at the pickle factory and tells his wife he was fired. She asks him what happened and he tells her, "I got fired for putting my dick in the pickle slicer."

His wife replies, "On no! Are you okay?"

The man says, "Yeah, I'm fine."

His wife replies, "You're not hurt? Was the slicer turned on?"

The man says, "Oh yeah, she loved it."

-o0o-

Choice of Hell

Three men go to hell and immediately meet the devil. He tells them, "All right, guys, you get to…

Read more: R18: Pickle Slicer and Others

R18: I Like How You're Thinking and Others

I Like How You’re Thinking!

A TEACHER is teaching a class and sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence and you shoot one, how many are left?”

“None,” Johnny answers.

“Why?” The teacher asks.

“Because the shot scared them all off.” He replies.

“No, there are two left, but I like how you’re thinking!” The teacher says.

Johnny then asks the teacher, “You see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor. One is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice…

Read more: R18: I Like How You're Thinking and Others

R18: The Third Time and Others

The Third Time

A POLICEMAN sent his wife and kid to a resort for a vacation. After a week, he joined them in the hotel. 

As soon as he came to the hotel room he wanted to make love to his wife and gave her "the look". 

Whispering under her breath, the wife said, "No, darling! We can't do it here, our kid is watching!" 

The husband replied, "You're right. Let’s go to the beach."

Soon after, they found an empty cove in the beach and started making love – when all of a sudden a…

Read more: R18: The Third Time and Others

R18: Making Them Useful and Others

Making Them Useful

This one is for housewives who neglect their hubbies out there. 

A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip – to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing. 

Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. 

“Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast…

Read more: R18: Making Them Useful and Others

R18: Afterlife and Others

Afterlife 

A COUPLE made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. The woman's biggest fear was that there was no heaven. 

After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact with his wife. "Mary... Mary..." 

Awestruck, Mary responds, "Is that you, Fred?"

"Yes, I have come back like we agreed." 

"Well, what is it like?" 

Fred excitedly tells his tale. "Well, when I get up in the morning I have sex, then I have breakfast, then I…

Read more: R18: Afterlife and Others

Like us in Facebook

Features

Latest News

Bankers project 6 to 7 percent growth in next 2 years

  By Rose de la Cruz   Despite global uncertainties, the local banking industry projects gross domestic product to grow between 6 and 7 percent in... Read More...
BSP closes 2 small local banks

    By Rose de la Cruz   Two small banks were closed by the Monetary Board, the policy-making body of the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas recently.... Read More...
Bong still unsure of Senate run

Should he stay or should he go?  This is the question that Special Assistant to the President Christopher “Bong” Go is trying to answer and... Read More...
IMAGE In the know: Solar Philippines

Solar Philippines is currently the country’s – and Southeast Asia’s – largest solar-energy company. Founded in August 2013 by Leandro... Read More...
Stupid Name Giver and Other Laughs

Stupid Name Giver Late one night, a burglar broke into a house. While he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, "Jesús is watching you."  He... Read More...
Confession Code and other laughs

Confession Code AN old priest who became sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery said one Sunday, in the pulpit,"If I... Read More...
IMAGE A DELICATE BALANCE

Photo courtesy of Top Gear Philippines Officials of motorcycle-sharing service company Angkas must be grinning all the way to the bank. After a... Read More...
IMAGE TULOY ANG LABAN SA DENGVAXIA

MABUTI naman at tuluyan ng nagpasiya ang pamahalaan na sampahan ng karampatang kaso ang mga sangkot sa kontrobersyal na Dengvaxia anti-dengue... Read More...

Our Guests

Today430
Yesterday797
This week5026
This month5026
Total1423006

Visitor Info

  • Your IP: 3.227.252.66

Who Is Online

33
Online

Friday, 06 December 2019
© 2016 OpinYon News Magazine Online. All Rights Reserved.

Please publish modules in offcanvas position.