R18: I Like How You're Thinking and Others

I Like How You’re Thinking!

A TEACHER is teaching a class and sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence and you shoot one, how many are left?”

“None,” Johnny answers.

“Why?” The teacher asks.

“Because the shot scared them all off.” He replies.

“No, there are two left, but I like how you’re thinking!” The teacher says.

Johnny then asks the teacher, “You see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor. One is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice…

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R18: Making Them Useful and Others

Making Them Useful

This one is for housewives who neglect their hubbies out there. 

A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip – to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing. 

Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. 

“Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast…

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R18: Afterlife and Others

Afterlife 

A COUPLE made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. The woman's biggest fear was that there was no heaven. 

After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact with his wife. "Mary... Mary..." 

Awestruck, Mary responds, "Is that you, Fred?"

"Yes, I have come back like we agreed." 

"Well, what is it like?" 

Fred excitedly tells his tale. "Well, when I get up in the morning I have sex, then I have breakfast, then I…

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R18: The Third Time and Others

The Third Time

A POLICEMAN sent his wife and kid to a resort for a vacation. After a week, he joined them in the hotel. 

As soon as he came to the hotel room he wanted to make love to his wife and gave her "the look". 

Whispering under her breath, the wife said, "No, darling! We can't do it here, our kid is watching!" 

The husband replied, "You're right. Let’s go to the beach."

Soon after, they found an empty cove in the beach and started making love – when all of a sudden a…

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R18: The Bet and Others

The Bet

THREE friends – an Italian, a German, and a Greek – decided to bet 100 Euros each that one of them can make their wives scream more from sex. 

The next day, the Italian said, "I made love to my wife for two hours and she was screaming for at least one and a half hours." 

The German said, "That's nothing! I start licking my wife for two hours and she was screaming the whole time and half hour after that." 

The Greek said, "Huh! That's nothing. I made love to my wife for ten…

Read more: R18: The Bet and Others

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