R18: Nice Bumper Lights and Others

Nice Bumper Lights

“Dad,” the daughter said. “This guy told me the sweetest thing ever.”

Her dad asked, “What’s that, honey?”

“He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk.”

“Tell that boy,” the dad replied, “if he fills up your gas tank, I’ll break his exhaust pipe. Ya dig?”

-o0o-

Executive’s Wife

Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive’s wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. 

Without hesitating, he dictated, “…and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts,…

Read more: R18: Nice Bumper Lights and Others

R18: Pickle Slicer and Others

Pickle Slicer

A MAN comes home from his job at the pickle factory and tells his wife he was fired. She asks him what happened and he tells her, "I got fired for putting my dick in the pickle slicer."

His wife replies, "On no! Are you okay?"

The man says, "Yeah, I'm fine."

His wife replies, "You're not hurt? Was the slicer turned on?"

The man says, "Oh yeah, she loved it."

-o0o-

Choice of Hell

Three men go to hell and immediately meet the devil. He tells them, "All right, guys, you get to…

Read more: R18: Pickle Slicer and Others

R18: Making Them Useful and Others

Making Them Useful

This one is for housewives who neglect their hubbies out there. 

A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip – to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing. 

Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. 

“Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast…

Read more: R18: Making Them Useful and Others

R18: I Like How You're Thinking and Others

I Like How You’re Thinking!

A TEACHER is teaching a class and sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence and you shoot one, how many are left?”

“None,” Johnny answers.

“Why?” The teacher asks.

“Because the shot scared them all off.” He replies.

“No, there are two left, but I like how you’re thinking!” The teacher says.

Johnny then asks the teacher, “You see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor. One is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice…

Read more: R18: I Like How You're Thinking and Others

R18: The Third Time and Others

The Third Time

A POLICEMAN sent his wife and kid to a resort for a vacation. After a week, he joined them in the hotel. 

As soon as he came to the hotel room he wanted to make love to his wife and gave her "the look". 

Whispering under her breath, the wife said, "No, darling! We can't do it here, our kid is watching!" 

The husband replied, "You're right. Let’s go to the beach."

Soon after, they found an empty cove in the beach and started making love – when all of a sudden a…

Read more: R18: The Third Time and Others

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