Wrong Call

An eight-year old girl went to her grandfather who was working in the yard and asked him, “Grandpa, what is couple sex?”

The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she was old enough to know to ask the question, then she was old enough to get a straight answer.

He proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction and enjoys and responsibilities that go with it. When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in amazement. Seeing the look…

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Unlucky Day!

THERE was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying.

The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry.”

“No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office.…

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Free Oranges

A hotel is raided for prostitution and the police line up all of the girls outside. One of the girl's grandmothers walks by and asks her, "Dear, why are you all lined up?"

She tells her grandmother, "The police are giving out free oranges to everybody here."

The grandmother sticks around to get her orange. When the cop gets to her he asks her, "You're still doing this at your age? How do you do it?"

The grandmother replies, "Well, I just take out my teeth and suck ‘em dry."

-o0o-

Screw

A married couple is…

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Nice Bumper Lights

“Dad,” the daughter said. “This guy told me the sweetest thing ever.”

Her dad asked, “What’s that, honey?”

“He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk.”

“Tell that boy,” the dad replied, “if he fills up your gas tank, I’ll break his exhaust pipe. Ya dig?”

-o0o-

Executive’s Wife

Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive’s wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. 

Without hesitating, he dictated, “…and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts,…

Read more: R18: Nice Bumper Lights and Others