Honest Hubby and Other Laughs

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Honest Hubby?
THERE was this old lady who was caught shoplifting. On court day her husband accompanied her as she faced the judge.
"Why did you shoplift?" the judge asked.
"I was hungry, Your Honor," she replied.
"And what did you steal from the grocery?"
"A can of peaches, Your Honor."
Trying to figure out the punishment, the judge asked, "How many peaches were in the can?"
"Six, Your Honor," the lady replied.
"All right," the judge decided. "For stealing a can of peaches you will serve one day per peach inside the can. Since you said there are six peaches inside the can, I sentence you to six day's confinement. Now, would anyone like to say anything?"
That was when the husband blurted out, "Your Honor, she stole a can of peas too!"

-o0o-

Lies and White Hair
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of Grandma's hairs are white?”

-o0o-

The Joy of Having Wife and Mistress
An architect, an artist, and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?" asked the architect and artist in unison.
The engineer replied, "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume that you are spending time with the other woman, so you can go to the office and get some work done."