All about women and wives and other laughs

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All about women and wives

I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

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Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

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I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months – I don’t like to interrupt her.

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All wives are alike, but they have many different faces so you can tell them apart.

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Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same. 

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Wrong Dance

A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. 

They did; however, they danced for the second and third song. By the time the fourth song came on, the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs. A riot broke out, and all the invited guests were hauled off to jail.

In court the next week, the judge asked the best man what happened.

“Your honor, we were just dancing, and the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs.”

“That must have hurt,” said the judge.

“No kidding,” said the best man. “I broke three of my fingers.”

-o0o-

Head and Shoulders

Two girls, one blonde and one brunette, are walking down the street and they see an attractive guy. They strike up a conversation with him and notice he has dandruff. After they part ways the brunette tells the blonde, "We should give him Head & Shoulders."

The blonde replies, "How do you give shoulders?"