R18: Wrong Hit and Others

Wrong Hit

A WIFE comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. 

Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, quietly reading a magazine. 

He says, "Hi, darling! Your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?”

-o0o-

Better than what he has 

A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. 

Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. 

A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!” 

-o0o-

A Priest’s Proposition

A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara Desert on a camel. On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. 

After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. "Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim." 

"I know, Father." 

"In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two." 

“I agree." 

"Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?" 

"Anything father." 

"I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours." 

"Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm." The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty. 

"Sister would you mind if I touched them?" She consented and he fondled them for several minutes. 

"Father, could I ask something of you?" 

"Yes, Sister?"

"I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?" 

"I supposed that would be OK," the priest replied, lifting his robe. 

"Oh father, may I touch it?" 

This time the priest consented. After a few minutes, he said, "Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give life?" 

"Is that true,Father?" 

"Yes, it is, Sister!" 

"Then why don't you stick it up that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"

 

Like us in Facebook

Features

Latest News

Remittances up by 5.4% in February 2018

    By Rose de la Cruz   Remittances of overseas Filipinos hit $2.5 billion in February, up by 5.4 percent from those sent during the same period... Read More...
Local court convicts officers of closed rural bank in Camarines Sur

  By Rose de la Cruz   The municipal trial court of CamaliganGainza-Milaor in Camarines Sur convicted the former directors and officers of a closed... Read More...
Bong still unsure of Senate run

Should he stay or should he go?  This is the question that Special Assistant to the President Christopher “Bong” Go is trying to answer and... Read More...
IMAGE In the know: Solar Philippines

Solar Philippines is currently the country’s – and Southeast Asia’s – largest solar-energy company. Founded in August 2013 by Leandro... Read More...
Wrong Dream Girl and Other Laughs

Wrong Dream GirlA FROG telephones the Psychic Hotline. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will... Read More...
Confession Code and other laughs

Confession Code AN old priest who became sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery said one Sunday, in the pulpit,"If I... Read More...
IMAGE PAGIGING MAKABAYAN

KAMAKAILAN ay tumawag ng atensyon ang plano ni Sen. Manny Pacquiao na maghain ng panukalang batas na naglalayon na isama bilang bahagi ng curriculum... Read More...
IMAGE PUTULIN ANG MONOPOLYO NG MERALCO!

SUPORTADO nang ibat-ibang consumer group kabilang na ang Institute for Consumer Research and Empowerment (ICORE) ang panukalang dapat putulin na ang... Read More...

Our Guests

Today2356
Yesterday880
This week5938
This month19671
Total923330

Visitor Info

  • Your IP: 54.198.134.104

Who Is Online

39
Online

Thursday, 19 April 2018
© 2016 OpinYon News Magazine Online. All Rights Reserved.

Please publish modules in offcanvas position.