R18: Wrong Hit and Others

Wrong Hit

A WIFE comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. 

Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, quietly reading a magazine. 

He says, "Hi, darling! Your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?”

-o0o-

Better than what he has 

A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. 

Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. 

A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!” 

-o0o-

A Priest’s Proposition

A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara Desert on a camel. On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. 

After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. "Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim." 

"I know, Father." 

"In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two." 

“I agree." 

"Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?" 

"Anything father." 

"I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours." 

"Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm." The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty. 

"Sister would you mind if I touched them?" She consented and he fondled them for several minutes. 

"Father, could I ask something of you?" 

"Yes, Sister?"

"I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?" 

"I supposed that would be OK," the priest replied, lifting his robe. 

"Oh father, may I touch it?" 

This time the priest consented. After a few minutes, he said, "Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give life?" 

"Is that true,Father?" 

"Yes, it is, Sister!" 

"Then why don't you stick it up that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"

 

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