R18: Wrong Motor and Others

Wrong Motor Used

It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. 

The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow. “This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?” 

He answered, “You’ve got to keep that old motor running.” 

The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said, “You really are amazing. How do you do it?” 

Once again, he said, “You’ve got to keep the old motor running.” 

The same thing happened the next year. The nurse said, “You must be quite a man.” 

He responded, “You’ve got to keep that old motor running.” 

The nurse then said, “Well, you had better change the oil; this one’s black.”

-o0o-

Customer Complaints

A man boarded a plane with six kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle leaned over to him and asked, “Are all of those kids yours?” 

He replied, “No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.”

-o0o-

Playing Doctor

After discovering her young daughter playing doctor with the neighbor’s boy, the angry mother grabbed the boy by the ear, dragged him to his house and confronted his mother. 

“It’s only natural for young boys and girls to explore their sexuality by playing doctor at their age,” the neighbor said. 

“Sexuality my ass!” the mother yelled. “He took out her appendix!”

-o0o-

Virgin

In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she was still a virgin. She was very proud of it. She knew her last days were getting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on her tombstone: “Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin.”

Not long after, the old maid died peacefully, and the undertaker told his men the lady’s wish. The men went to carve it in, but being the bastards they were, they thought the inscription to be unnecessarily long. They simply wrote, “Returned unopened.”

-o0o-

Night to Remember 

Mr. Daniels is diagnosed with a rare disease and he only has about 12 hours left to live. His wife begins to cry and tells him that she will give him a night to remember.

Shortly after making love for the first time his wife says, “Do you want to go again?” This time it is even better than the first time.

Mrs. Daniels starts to doze off so Mr. Daniels nudges her and asks if they can do it one final time. Mrs. Daniels replies, “Easy for you to say that; you don't have to get up in the morning.”

 

Like us in Facebook

Features

Latest News

DBM signs MOA with PLM on procurement course

    By Rose de la Cruz   Last February 19, the Department of Budget and Management, through the Government Procurement Policy Board (GPPB), signed... Read More...
A hollow block business that rose from a personal need

  By Rose de la Cruz   The hollow block business of Franklin Carmelo in Urdaneta City, Pangasinan began out of a personal need to fence his other... Read More...
Comelec control urged for narco-infested LGUs

  By Francisco Benjamin Garcia   Rep. Bernadette Herrera-Dy, chairman of the committee on public information at the lower house has urged that... Read More...
IMAGE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORM

WHILE the modernization of public utility vehicles has always been in the wish list of past administrations, thought of as a solution to the... Read More...
IMAGE Honest Hubby and Other Laughs

Honest Hubby?THERE was this old lady who was caught shoplifting. On court day her husband accompanied her as she faced the judge. "Why did you... Read More...
IMAGE All about women and wives and other laughs

All about women and wives I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always. ***** Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement... Read More...
IMAGE TAMANG DESISYON

TULUYAN nang tinuldukan ni Presidente Rodrigo Duterte ang anumang pagtatangka ng ibang mga grupo at sektor na buhaying muli ang usapang... Read More...
IMAGE GINHAWA PARA SA MGA MAMAMAYAN

Guhit ni Ed Rompal INIULAT ni Senador Sonny Angara na nagkasundo na ang congressional bicameral conference committee sa limang probisyon na... Read More...

Our Guests

Today300
Yesterday995
This week6806
This month20628
Total873264

Visitor Info

  • Your IP: 54.227.104.53

Who Is Online

41
Online

Sunday, 25 February 2018
© 2016 OpinYon News Magazine Online. All Rights Reserved.

Please publish modules in offcanvas position.