R18: Wrong Motor and Others

Wrong Motor Used

It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. 

The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow. “This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?” 

He answered, “You’ve got to keep that old motor running.” 

The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said, “You really are amazing. How do you do it?” 

Once again, he said, “You’ve got to keep the old motor running.” 

The same thing happened the next year. The nurse said, “You must be quite a man.” 

He responded, “You’ve got to keep that old motor running.” 

The nurse then said, “Well, you had better change the oil; this one’s black.”

-o0o-

Customer Complaints

A man boarded a plane with six kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle leaned over to him and asked, “Are all of those kids yours?” 

He replied, “No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.”

-o0o-

Playing Doctor

After discovering her young daughter playing doctor with the neighbor’s boy, the angry mother grabbed the boy by the ear, dragged him to his house and confronted his mother. 

“It’s only natural for young boys and girls to explore their sexuality by playing doctor at their age,” the neighbor said. 

“Sexuality my ass!” the mother yelled. “He took out her appendix!”

-o0o-

Virgin

In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she was still a virgin. She was very proud of it. She knew her last days were getting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on her tombstone: “Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin.”

Not long after, the old maid died peacefully, and the undertaker told his men the lady’s wish. The men went to carve it in, but being the bastards they were, they thought the inscription to be unnecessarily long. They simply wrote, “Returned unopened.”

-o0o-

Night to Remember 

Mr. Daniels is diagnosed with a rare disease and he only has about 12 hours left to live. His wife begins to cry and tells him that she will give him a night to remember.

Shortly after making love for the first time his wife says, “Do you want to go again?” This time it is even better than the first time.

Mrs. Daniels starts to doze off so Mr. Daniels nudges her and asks if they can do it one final time. Mrs. Daniels replies, “Easy for you to say that; you don't have to get up in the morning.”

 

Like us in Facebook

Features

Latest News

5 Cabinet members briefed investors in Morgan Stanley economic briefing

  By Rose de la Cruz   Five Cabinet members of the economic cluster, except for Foreign Secretary Allan Peter Cayetano, were in New York for the... Read More...
August YoY spending rises 13.9 percent versus January to August 9.8 percent

  National government disbursements showed an uptick for August 2017 of 13.9 percent, year on year, while spending on January to August hit 9.8... Read More...
IMAGE Koko: Tapusin na ang pamamayagpag ng killer tandems!

SUPORTADO ng ibat-ibang sektor at maging mga anticrime advocates ang desisyon ni Pangulong Digong Duterte na ibigay sa Philippine Drug Enforcement... Read More...
IMAGE Lies Fill An Empty Hall

A circus of lies. That was how Presidential Counsel Atty. Savlador S. Panelo described Senator Antonio Trillanes IV’s series of accusations on... Read More...
R18: Bad Best Friend and Others

Bad Best Friend  A GUY walks into a bar and orders a triple Scotch. The bartender pours him the drink and the guy downs it in one gulp. “Wow,”... Read More...
R18: Wrong Partner and Others

Wrong Partner A VISITING professor at Florida State University is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How... Read More...
IMAGE COMMUNICATING ONLY THE BEST

They were like kids, these bloggers, fighting over a piece of candy bar. After gaining so much air and print space and public attention, one of them... Read More...
IMAGE IS FAKE NEWS A NEW GENRE?

Editorial cartoon by Ed Rompal Where is it coming from? All we know is that fake news is having its time in our space. Last week, Senator Grace... Read More...

Our Guests

Today288
Yesterday709
This week3257
This month12958
Total765949

Visitor Info

  • Your IP: 54.225.47.94

Who Is Online

14
Online

Thursday, 19 October 2017
© 2016 OpinYon News Magazine Online. All Rights Reserved.

Please publish modules in offcanvas position.