R18: Wrong Zipper and Others

Wrong Zipper

IN a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight mini skirt. 

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. 

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. 

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step, and, once again, much to her dismay, she could not raise her leg. 

With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind a third time to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step. 

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. 

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan, yelling, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!" 

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends!"

-o0o-

Up All Night

A man walked into a restaurant and seated himself. Soon, the waitress came over to take his order. "…And to drink?" she asked.

“Coffee, please,” the man replied. 

The waitress promptly returned with a cup of coffee; unfortunately, she spilled it on the man's lap when she stopped at the table.

"Oh, my God, I am so sorry!" she apologized.

"That's okay," the man said as he sopped up the puddle on his pants with his napkin. "But tell me, is this regular or decaf?" 

"Regular," she replied. 

"Oh great!” the man exclaimed. “Now this thing is going to be up all night!”

-o0o-

Suppository

Two elderly gentlemen, Sam and Harry, were having breakfast. Sam said to Harry, "Harry, why do you have a suppository in your ear?" 

Harry took the suppository out, looked it over and said, "Sam, I'm really glad you saw this thing.Now I think I know where my hearing aid is."

 

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Wednesday, 23 May 2018
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