Honest Hubby and Other Laughs

Honest Hubby?
THERE was this old lady who was caught shoplifting. On court day her husband accompanied her as she faced the judge.
"Why did you shoplift?" the judge asked.
"I was hungry, Your Honor," she replied.
"And what did you steal from the grocery?"
"A can of peaches, Your Honor."
Trying to figure out the punishment, the judge asked, "How many peaches were in the can?"
"Six, Your Honor," the lady replied.
"All right," the judge decided. "For stealing a can of peaches you will serve one day per peach inside the can. Since you said there are…

Read more: Honest Hubby and Other Laughs

All about women and wives and other laughs

All about women and wives

I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

*****

Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

*****

I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months – I don’t like to interrupt her.

*****

All wives are alike, but they have many different faces so you can tell them apart.

*****

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same. 

-o0o-

Wrong Dance

A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first…

Read more: All about women and wives and other laughs

R18: The Difference Between a Man and a Woman and Others

The difference between a man and a woman

A COUPLE was told to individually write a sentence usingthe words “love” and sex.”

The woman wrote: “When two people love each other very much, as my husband and I do, it’s morally acceptable for them to engage in sex.”

The man wrote: “I love sex.”

-o0o-

Hypocrisy

The definition of hypocrisy is the man who publishes a book about atheism and then prays to God that it will be a bestseller.

-o0o-

Top Five Things to Say When Your Boss Catches You Sleeping at Your Desk:

1. “Somebody must’ve put decaf…

Read more: R18: The Difference Between a Man and a Woman and Others

The reason why God created woman

Man says to God, “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?”

God answers, “So you would love her.”

“But God,” the man says, “why did you make her so dumb?”

God replies, “So she would love you.”

-o0o-

Incompatible

“You and your husband don’t seem to have an awful lot in common,” said the new tenant’s neighbor. “Why on earth did you get married?”

“I suppose it was the old business of ‘opposites attract,’” was the reply. “He wasn’t pregnant and I was.”

-o0o-

Color TV

Wally goes to an electronics store. “Do you have color TVs?” he asked the salesperson.

“Yes.”

“All right. I’m taking the green one.”

-o0o-

Charge

The USA and France yelled, “Charge!” and waved their rifles. Japan and Germany yelled, “Charge!” and waved their credit cards. 

Read more: The reason why God created woman (and other laughs)

R18: Bad Best Friend and Others

Bad Best Friend 

A GUY walks into a bar and orders a triple Scotch. The bartender pours him the drink and the guy downs it in one gulp.

“Wow,” says the bartender. “Something bad must have happened.”

“Yeah,” the guy said. “I came home early today, went up to the bedroom, and found my wife having sex with my best friend.”

The bartender pours the guy another triple shot. “This one's on the house.”

The guy gulps it down once again. The bartender asks, “Did you say anything to your wife?

“Yeah,” the guy answered. “I walked…

Read more: R18: Bad Best Friend and Others

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Saturday, 20 January 2018
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