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Confession Code and other laughs

Confession Code

AN old priest who became sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery said one Sunday, in the pulpit,"If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll leave the priesthood!" 

Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen". 

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. 

About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the Mayor of the town and seemed…

Read more: Confession Code and other laughs

Wrong Dream Girl and Other Laughs

Wrong Dream Girl
A FROG telephones the Psychic Hotline. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?"
"No," says his advisor, "in her biology class."

*****

Obviously drunk
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are…

Read more: Wrong Dream Girl and Other Laughs

All about women and wives and other laughs

All about women and wives

I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

*****

Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

*****

I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months – I don’t like to interrupt her.

*****

All wives are alike, but they have many different faces so you can tell them apart.

*****

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same. 

-o0o-

Wrong Dance

A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first…

Read more: All about women and wives and other laughs

Honest Hubby and Other Laughs

Honest Hubby?
THERE was this old lady who was caught shoplifting. On court day her husband accompanied her as she faced the judge.
"Why did you shoplift?" the judge asked.
"I was hungry, Your Honor," she replied.
"And what did you steal from the grocery?"
"A can of peaches, Your Honor."
Trying to figure out the punishment, the judge asked, "How many peaches were in the can?"
"Six, Your Honor," the lady replied.
"All right," the judge decided. "For stealing a can of peaches you will serve one day per peach inside the can. Since you said there are…

Read more: Honest Hubby and Other Laughs

The reason why God created woman

Man says to God, “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?”

God answers, “So you would love her.”

“But God,” the man says, “why did you make her so dumb?”

God replies, “So she would love you.”

-o0o-

Incompatible

“You and your husband don’t seem to have an awful lot in common,” said the new tenant’s neighbor. “Why on earth did you get married?”

“I suppose it was the old business of ‘opposites attract,’” was the reply. “He wasn’t pregnant and I was.”

-o0o-

Color TV

Wally goes to an electronics store. “Do you have color TVs?” he asked the salesperson.

“Yes.”

“All right. I’m taking the green one.”

-o0o-

Charge

The USA and France yelled, “Charge!” and waved their rifles. Japan and Germany yelled, “Charge!” and waved their credit cards. 

Read more: The reason why God created woman (and other laughs)

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Wrong Dream Girl and Other Laughs

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Confession Code and other laughs

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Wednesday, 15 August 2018
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