We must interpret a bad temper as a sign of inferiority.” - Alfred Adler

What is a tantrum? It’s a meltdown - an emotional outburst. We occasionally see this unpleasant conduct in children. But should childish behavior be tolerated in adults?

Unacceptable Behavior

My special projects team has the misfortune of having a member with undesirable manners. Terry has the habit of throwing temper tantrums like a two-year-old when things don’t go the way he wants – or when he feels his ideas are being challenged. Sad to say, he is way past childhood. He is a fifty-year-old adult. 

Socially unacceptable behavior is unwelcome in the grown-up world. It is no small wonder that Terry never married, nor had a girlfriend or any significant relationship. He is simply intolerable to have around.

The Back Story

Back in childhood, Terry was the least ‘bright’ among the children in the family. For obvious reasons, his parents paid more attention to his brothers and sisters. In his desperation to have his 'two minutes of fame', he discovered that he could get instant attention through quicker means: temper tantrums.

Every time Terry threw a fit – especially in public – his parents stopped whatever they were doing as they tried to pacify him. It became his attention-getting pattern.

Epic Fail

Through the years, Terry's parents and friends tried to help him change his disgusting disposition – but all was in vain because he enjoyed being the ‘center of attraction’ during his temper tantrums.

Now half a century old, Terry still has not developed the necessary skills to communicate his sentiments clearly and effectively during moments of frustration. It comes as no surprise that he is a failure – both in his personal and career life.

TIPS AND TECHNIQUES

For those of you who have to deal with temperamentally unfit people like Terry, here are some instant remedies you can apply when they lose control of themselves.

• Use'WE'instead of 'I'and 'YOU': "How can WE solve the problem?"

• Offer alternative solutions.

• Do NOT engage in a debate. 

• Stick to the main issue.

• Keep your facial expression, body language and voice tone cordial.

If you are temperamentally unfit, think about this:

• Do you want to become ‘famous’ in an online viral video that was recorded during your disgraceful meltdown?

• Stop your childish outbursts. Shame on you. Grow up!

As adults, we do NOT throw tantrums when we are upset. We discuss issues in a sane and reasonable manner that is socially acceptable. Hay naku!

Vivien Mangalindan is available for Customer Service Training, Public Speaking & Confidence Coaching, and Events Hosting. She is also a Broadcaster. Be entertained as you get informed every Monday at 3:00 p.m. Tune in to SHOW AND TELL RADIO on DWBL 1242 AM radio - with video LIVE streaming on Facebook and YouTube: Show And Tell Radio. * Do you want your products and services to be featured on her show?  Text 0918-521-5400

 

“You can't change someone who doesn't see an issue in their actions.” –Anonymous

 

Have you ever encountered someone so inflexible that nothing you said seemed to enter his seemingly thick skull?

 

THE BACK STORY

As I wrote this article in an internet cafe, I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to meet the deadline for my column. Why? Because I was busy watching over the personal effects of the lady seated beside me. Despite my friendly reminder to keep her bag and mobile phone safe, she carelessly left her things hanging around as she stepped in and out of the shop to have a smoke.

The distraction eventually got to me. I chose to stop worrying about her, thinking to myself: “Hey, lady - your ignorance is not my bliss.”

Just as I had solved that problem, scenario # 2 came up. In came a guy who apparently lacked GMRC – Good Manners and Right Conduct. As he left the door wide open, the fumes from the smoking area outside quickly filled the cafe. To make matters worse, customers leaving the shop didn’t bother to close the door either. 

 

IQ: Ignorance Quotient

Looking around me, it seemed that I was the only one bothered. I patiently requested the supervisor to remind customers to close the door as they come in. Seeing my concern, one of the staff shuffled his feet as he unhappily accomplished the simple task.

I was surprised to receive a blank stare from the supervisor when I suggested they hang a simple sign on the door: Keep Door Closed.

Is Ignorance Quotient the new definition of IQ? Is it so difficult to see the obvious? Again: “Your ignorance is not my bliss.”

 

LEVEL UP: What Is Your Personal Image?

Assuming you don’t really care what people think of you, the least you can do is NOT be an inconvenience to others due to your ignorance.

Friends and frenemies tease me when I notice these daily annoyances: “Don’t sweat the small stuff!” Hey, small stuff defines your personal image and branding. Would you want to be known as an ignoramus or a nincompoop?

Plus: be aware that your personal attitude and behavior can make or break the image and branding of a business or organization.

 

TIPS AND TECHNIQUES

When someone gives you suggestions on how to make things better, stop acting like a stubborn mule. Imagine yourself on reality TV. Would you behave the way you do if cameras were focused on you as the world watched you? 

If you are a boss or public servant, your action or inaction could be quite unacceptable. Your ignorance is not my bliss. Hay naku!

 

Vivien Mangalindan is available for Customer Service Training, Public Speaking & Confidence Coaching, and Events Hosting. She is also a Broadcaster. Be entertained as you get informed every Monday at 3:00 p.m. Tune in to SHOW AND TELL RADIO on DWBL 1242 AM radio - with video LIVE streaming on Facebook and YouTube: Show And Tell Radio. * Do you want your products and services to be featured on her show?  Text 0918-521-5400

 

'What is right is often forgotten by what is convenient.” –Boedie Thoene

Would you rather do what is right, or simply what’s convenient for you? Allow me to share an anecdote about a one-sided evaluation that led to an unfair decision.

 

THE BACK STORY

Julia was caught in a sudden thunderstorm as she was leaving her building. Running a fever and nursing a cold, she requested the doorman to help her call a taxi. He told her that he could not help her at the moment.

Running late for her appointment, Julia had no choice but to hail a cab on her own. Not surprisingly, she fell ill from getting wet in the rain. She reported the incident to the building administrator, who was so apologetic and embarrassed.

 

AN UNFAIR JUDGMENT

The administrator did not bother to ask the doorman for the complete story. She quickly reprimanded him with a harsh reminder that the incident would reflect on his employee performance rating.

 

DECISION-MAKING DO’S AND DON’TS

Don’t make decisions without hearing both sides of the story. Do your homework: completely, fairly and competently. It was so convenient for the administrator to scold the doorman, when the right thing to do would have been to ASK for his side of the story!

 

CAUSE AND EFFECT

A competent boss must have the good sense and ability to identify the root cause of any predicament. Was the problem about the doorman not helping Julia? Looking more intently, that was the effect– NOT the cause – of the true problem.

Here we have a simple case of CAUSE and EFFECT. The cause: a service umbrella was not available at the lobby. The effect: the incompetent administrator punished the doorman for not helping Julia.

Let me add a blind spot: should the doorman be expected to stand in the rain without an umbrella as he serves the needs of building dwellers?

 

PROBLEM-SOLVING AND DECISION-MAKING

How much common-sense thinking does it take to decide on buying an inexpensive umbrella from a neighborhood convenience store? Is it such a major decision to part with a hundred pesos from petty cash funds to ensure the health and safety of the building dwellers and visitors?

 

TIPS AND TECHNIQUES

A boss should be a competent decision-maker. Being lazy and choosing to do what is convenient is totally unacceptable. Play fair: always ASK for both sides of a situation. It’s the right thing to do. Remember: asking does NOT mean you’re bad, wrong or stupid. Hay naku!

*****

Vivien Mangalindan is available for Customer Service Training, Public Speaking & Confidence Coaching, and Events Hosting. She is also a Broadcaster. Be entertained as you get informed every Monday at 3:00 p.m. Tune in to SHOW AND TELL RADIO onDWBL 1242 AM radio - with video LIVE streaming on Facebook and YouTube: Show And Tell Radio. * Do you want your products and services to be featured on her show?  Text 0918-521-5400

 

 

 

 "Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.” –Bill Gates

Are you a swell-headed narcissist who enjoys moments of self-importance and grandiosity? I remember what my grandmother used to tell me. “What do you get when you dress up a monkey? You get a monkey in a dress!”

 

THE BACK STORY

Promoting an unqualified staff member is not a good idea. Take the example of Jessica. She became a team leader by accident for the simple reason that she was the employee with the most number of years of service. 

Problems began when her new title got to her head. Jessica became arrogant and bragged to everyone – at work and at home – that she was the new ‘little boss’. Consequently, her team members became demoralized due to her ‘high and mighty’ new image. 

 

Customer Service Nightmare

To make things worse, Jessica had the audacity to argue with customers, and even grumbled about old clients being ‘too demanding’. Not surprisingly, complaints from unhappy customers started appearing online, damaging the company image – and that quickly spelled t-r-o-u-b-l-e.

 

LEVEL UP: It Starts At The Top

Be careful when assigning roles of importance. Leadership is NOT about domination, power and control. A competent leader must make efforts to identify customer expectations.

Make this your organizational mantra. “The more you know your customer, the better you can serve them effectively and efficiently.” 

Raise the bar of service and learn to anticipate customer needs and wants. Here is a Basic Guideline for Leaders:

1. Let your actions, attitude and behavior inspire others

2. Create a culture of service

3. Make sure you hire the right people

4. Invest in training and coaching

5. Establish action guidelines so staff can make simple decisions

 

TIPS AND TECHNIQUES

Leaders should never let their fancy titles get to their head. Learn to value the customer. 

• For public servants: You are in a position to serve, and not to be idolized. Be ready and willing to help at all times.

• For business owners: What’s the point of repeatedly renovating your premises and increasing personnel if your service is discourteous, antagonistic and substandard?

Keep in mind that a leader’s behavior becomes the model which staff members imitate. Their attitude and behavior are a reflection of their leader. Narcissistic behavior has no place in leadership. Hay naku!

*****

Vivien Mangalindan is available for Customer Service Training, Public Speaking & Confidence Coaching, and Events Hosting. She is also a Broadcaster. Be entertained as you get informed every Monday at 3:00 p.m. Tune in to SHOW AND TELL RADIO on DWBL 1242 AM radio - with video LIVE streaming on Facebook and YouTube: Show And Tell Radio. * Do you want your products and services to be featured on her show?  Text 0918-521-5400

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” -Seneca

Is luck merely a matter of being at the right place at the right time? Well, that might be a major factor in the formula, but there’s more to being lucky than just that.

 

THE BACK STORY

Do these scenarios sound familiar?

1. You turned down a promotion because you doubted your own capabilities.

2. You backed out from a business opportunity because you were not ready to facethe responsibilities that came with beingan entrepreneur.

You may have been at the right place at the right time, but you missed your chance because you were not prepared forpossibilities that came your way.

 

LEVEL UP: BE THE RIGHT PERSON

Stop whining. Feeling sorry for yourself won’t get you anywhere. Do something about it! Identify your strengths and weaknesses so you can be readyfor luck when it comes knocking at your door.

For starters, this is what you can do. Know where you stand. Answer the following questions as honestly as you can. No cheating!

 

Strengths

• What things do you do well?

• What do other people ask you to help them with?

• What skills do you possess?

• What competencies do you have that are relevant and add value to an industry or company?

Weaknesses

• Which tasks do you have difficulty accomplishing?

• What skills do you lack or need improvement on?

• What are you doing to manage your weak areas?

• What constant feedback or complaint do you repeatedly receive regarding your shortcomings?

Opportunities

• Which industry or company needs your abilities and expertise?

• What prospects for you are being created by industry trends?

• What are you uniquely qualified to do?

Threats

• What do others have that make them better than you?

• What obstacles are holding you back from potential progress?

 

TIPS, TOOLS & TECHNIQUES

Reflect on your answers to the questions above. FOCUS on Opportunities that require your Strengths. Work on Weaknesses that areThreats to your success.

Have an open mind. Believe in continuous improvement: one step at a time, one day at a time. Welcome change: be proactive instead of reactive.Create the habit of asking for feedback in everything you do. 

You have eleven weeks to go before 2017 comes rolling in. Get yourself on track and give it your best shot. If you need some help in crafting your action plan, I am just a text message away. 

Always remember: the more you prepare for opportunity, the luckier you get. Hay naku!

 

*****

Vivien Mangalindan is available for Personal Coaching, Public Speaking & Confidence Training, and Events Hosting. She is also a Broadcaster. Be entertained as you get informed every Monday at 3:00 p.m. Tune in to SHOW AND TELL RADIO on DWBL 1242 AM radio - with video LIVE streaming on Facebook and YouTube: Show And Tell Radio. * Do you want your products and services to be featured on her show?  Text 0918-521-5400

 

 

 

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