R18: Bad Best Friend and Others

Bad Best Friend 

A GUY walks into a bar and orders a triple Scotch. The bartender pours him the drink and the guy downs it in one gulp.

“Wow,” says the bartender. “Something bad must have happened.”

“Yeah,” the guy said. “I came home early today, went up to the bedroom, and found my wife having sex with my best friend.”

The bartender pours the guy another triple shot. “This one's on the house.”

The guy gulps it down once again. The bartender asks, “Did you say anything to your wife?

“Yeah,” the guy answered. “I walked…

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R18: Wrong Partner and Others

Wrong Partner

A VISITING professor at Florida State University is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands. 

"Well that’s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you’ve ever seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands. 

"That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?” This time, 15 students raise their hands. 

"That’s…

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R18: Wrong Hit and Others

Wrong Hit

A WIFE comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. 

Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, quietly reading a magazine. 

He says, "Hi, darling! Your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?”

-o0o-

Better than what…

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R18: More Than She Bargained For and Others

MORE THAN SHE BARGAINED FOR

A MAN is sitting on his own in a restaurant when he sees a beautiful woman at another table. He sends her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu, and she writes him a note: “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pants.”

He writes back to her, “Give me back the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I’m not cutting off three inches for anyone.”

-o0o-

Good for the cucumbers

A woman is having a hard…

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R18: Wrong Motor and Others

Wrong Motor Used

It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. 

The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow. “This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?” 

He answered, “You’ve got to keep that old motor running.” 

The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said, “You really are amazing. How do you do it?” 

Once again, he said, “You’ve got to keep the old motor running.” 

The same thing happened the…

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